Should you ever take yourself and your work too seriously, may all the goddesses and muses and dakinis conspire to bring you back to reality.
Black threads on Summer’s first day.
Vibes don’t always jive.
Just letting me be me.
and you are, too.
To be a tree!
Flirting with light beams,
wooing the wind.
Rollicking shadows ~ a tease,
like a wink from across the room.
While cleaning out closets at my mom’s house, I got sidetracked flipping through old journals. Here’s an excerpt from my high school junior year. It’s a rough draft of my life mission statement for a class assignment. My core values haven’t changed much, and it's clear to see why I never quite felt like I fit in at high school.
- I want to know myself.
- Be well read.
- Have someone in my life who knows the real me and who loves and comforts me. Someone who is gentle.
- Have a career that I love and that stimulates me.
- Be able to travel. (As an adult, this desire has left. I seem to find more joy in the mundane day to day than getaways.)
- Be spiritually sound.
- Be loving and relaxed.
- I want to be the “PHENOMENAL WOMAN!!” (This is a reference to Maya Angelo’s poem, which I read so frequently in high school that it is committed to memory.)
- Be surrounded by fulfilling people, things, smells, sounds, sights, emotions.
- To be of help when and where I am needed.
your mother's cell
You did not need
a to-do list,
what to do.
Don’t bore me with your big ideas, grand schemes.
I want to see you on a Tuesday
when the only thing to eat
is broccoli, no vacation plans.
Can you make art from the most ordinary of days?
Want to be an expert at something you love? Don't try to be the smartest or the most renowned. Be the greatest lover instead, the most curious and devoted. Trade small certainties for absolute delight.
The path to heaven
is not paved with piety
but riddled with
wildflowers and weeds.
Which is which?
Don’t be good.
The sky isn't falling
When it does,
Make space in
Those with hearts wide open
Fast forever friends
Loud voices who know when to
be quiet and can sit silent with ease
Diplomatic, extroverted, truth-telling loners
with smile lines and wicked minds
The perspective seekers
Moon gazing skinny dippers who
take nothing personally
but feel it all and
let it go
On the day the moon went
forward of the sun, she woke again,
a Monday, vowed again to
her best with what she had
~ just a little bit ~
knowing that most things
she does not know. A prayer again:
"Make me a vessel, empty
and clear. May truth flow
through and kindness too." It is
a tender thing to try not
for perfect, but for simple and soft
progress is not what it seems.
Morning mind dashes
the starting gun still
Wait one second!
I did not sign up for this race!
cutting over, changing lanes, dodging
others, nearly tripping
I will be disqualified.
I don’t want to be a sprinter.
In the grass I catch my breath.
The urge to become limp, to dissolve
is so strong.
No, I say kindly, but certainly clear.
Some patterns are made for breaking, and
the only truth worth running toward: your body, alive.
Sunbeams stretch, silhouetting
mountains, trees, and
I remember: isn’t it lovely,
morning’s first desire to reach, open for the light?
Every day is a matter of giving in a little deeper. Understanding a little more. Seeing clearer. As long as I can continue to this in all areas, I will be alright. Letting my mind go and giving into my instinct. Trying to stop controlling it all. Giving in and relaxing into it. Relaxing down to my core. Down to my bones and then into the marrow. Just letting. The ultimate letting go and taking what has been placed in front of me and embracing it without worry or reservation. Without trying to make it fit my plan. Just trust. That's all.
It takes time to fall in love. Business (busy-ness) as usual must stop. You must sink into devotion. Let time expand, extend. If you want to love: A person, earth, yourself, your life, mistakes even (yes, you can love them, too.)... Slow down, pay attention.