How to Warm Up for Sprints in the Park: Protocol & Best Practices

Put on your new running shoes

Drive to the park

Before arriving at the park, take a quick detour to the craft store to purchase fabric dye

Read instructions on the bottle of fabric dye and see that this dye ~ along with all the other dyes sold at this craft store ~ are not suited for acrylic, the type of fabric you were hoping to dye

Sit in your car in the parking lot and research methods for dyeing acrylic on your iPhone

Realize that you are hungry

Drive to the French bakery

Order quiche and green tea

Realize that you cannot sprint now due to the fact that you just ate

Drive to the grocery store to buy groceries for dinner instead

Become captivated in the cheese aisle and contemplate which is a better choice: raw milk cheese or organic milk cheese?

Drive to the hair salon

Buy a bottle of shampoo

Realize that you forgot the ingredients for the yogurt sauce you had planned to serve with dinner

Contemplate returning to the grocery story for the missing ingredients

Drive to the park

Walk around the park

Look at dogs

Contemplate going home due to the fact that it looks like it might rain

Fucking! Sprint! Already! Dammit!